How You Know When You’re Old Enough to Take a Cruise Holiday

How You Know When You’re Old Enough to Take a Cruise Holiday

Now let’s get one thing clear from the start: anyone of any age can have a fantastic time on a cruise holiday. What’s not to like about unlimited on-board entertainment, round-the-clock eating and drinking, a comfortable cabin with all mod-cons and the ability to explore a new and exotic holiday location almost every day?

Age-wise, will I fit in with the average cruise holiday crowd?

Whilst there is no truth in the preconception that cruise liners are exclusively kitted out with electric stair lifts, and that courtesy tartan shopping trolleys are provided for duty-free purchases of Steradent, Werther’s Originals and Andy Williams CDs, it is fair to say that cruise holidays often attract a more –ahem- mature section of society.

Look on the bright side; an older age range among cruise passengers has its benefits. There will be fewer children to ‘dive bomb’ the swimming pool and soak you as you recline in your sun lounger on deck, and there will be greater availability of jelly and ice cream for those whose teeth ‘aren’t what they used to be’.

Ten tell-tale signs that you’re old enough to take a cruise holiday

Don’t worry. It happens to everyone. One day you’ll catch yourself admiring a new pair of slippers or a warm cardigan in a shop window. You’ll stop watching the X-Factor because you suddenly prefer Strictly Come Dancing. And without realising it’s happening, your eyes will be drawn to the cruise adverts at the back of the travel section of the newspaper. These are the early warning signs that you’re entering the ‘cruise passenger’ phase of your life.

One week you’ll be in denial, the next thinking about cruising the Nile. It happens. Even if you’ve spent your entire life protesting to friends and family that you’re not the sort of person who would ever consider embarking on a cruise holiday, think again: can you honestly tell yourself that you really wouldn’t even slightly enjoy basking in the sun on a posh cruise liner, visiting gorgeous new countries and stuffing your face at every opportunity. Of course you would. But just in case you need further convincing, here are ten more tell-tale signs that you’re old enough to take a cruise holiday.

  1. You think that ‘Club 18-30’ is the name of an exclusive bingo hall.
  2. Even though you’re contemplating a cruise to the tropics you’re liable to pack a warm woolly jumper “just in case”.
  3. The choice of holiday music on your iPod has changed from “The Best of Ibiza Trance and House Club Mix” to “The Best of Jane McDonald”
  4. You don’t even know what an iPod is (it’s a bit like a portable gramophone, Dear).
  5. Travel sickness is no longer your main concern, but losing your teeth over the side is.
  6. You like the idea of wearing formal evening dress to an evening meal, even though the only time you’ve ever done this was at your wedding reception.
  7. You’re happy, rather than embarrassed, to sport your best ‘socks and sandals’ combo for comfort when on board ship.
  8. Nowadays the naughtiest thing you’d consider getting up in the middle of the night for is to sneak down to the twenty-four hour buffet.
  9. You’re the only person in your social circle who doesn’t endlessly mention the fact that they’ve been on/are going on a cruise.
  10.  Your postman has developed a hunched back under the weight of all the cruise line brochures he’s suddenly delivering you.

Do any of these ring true with you? Yes? Then congratulations! – that’s how you know when you’re old enough to take a cruise holiday. Now go and book your cruise and have the great holiday that you always sneakily suspected you would. When you’re ready, here’s some links to get you started:

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